The first day at a new school can be scary for anyone, but on his first day August Carroll, freshman, was worried about more than just finding his classes and making friends.
“I guess at the beginning of the day, I was really scared to correct any of my teachers on my name or pronouns because I thought that they might tell my parents, and then I was terrified what would happen after that,” August said. “But I was in English class and that’s my favorite. I love writing, I love literature and I was miserable. I just felt awful.”
While at first he was not sure if he wanted to come out at high school, he decided in English class that it was necessary.
“I didn’t realize, but it was because of something that small, like just a name or a pronoun. There is so much importance tied to that, that I ended up hating (a subject) something that I have loved my entire life because of that. So, I decided in English class I’m not going to let my mom ruin this for me, I’m not going to let my dad ruin this for me and I’m not going to let myself ruin it myself. So at the end of class, I stood up and I went to Mrs. (Kelly) Barnes, (English teacher) and I said I am transgender, this is my name, these are my pronouns.”
A few weeks later, August came out to Mrs. Barnes’ Honors English 9 class through a project where students worked in pairs and introduced each other after doing an interview.
“When the students did the introductions, he talked about it with his partners and shared that with the class and so I thought that was very brave and very open,” Mrs. Barnes said.
For August, it was just a matter of feeling comfortable in his skin and connecting with people.
“It’s easier to form connections with people when you are actually finally presenting as who you really are instead of some- thing that you feel like you have to,” August said.
Earlier this month the seventeenth edition of the Chicago Manual of Style was released. For over one hundred years, the style guide has set standards for how the English language is used, acting as a predominant guideline for professional publications, similarly to how students use MLA format when writing essays. In the newest edition the manual, changes were made that have the potential to effect issues off the page, making it acceptable to use “they/them” as singular gender-neutral pronouns.
“I think that it’s (changing pro- nouns is) a very personal choice and I think that people have the right to make the determination for themselves,” Mrs. Barnes said. “I mean, I can’t make a choice for somebody else and I wouldn’t want anybody else to make a choice for me, so I think that having the fluidity of saying ‘they’ in style is a really huge step forward. Usually style manuals and things like that are so far behind and so something like that is really pushing forward and adapting to the times and to where we are in our country.”
In her own friend groups Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) president Kayla Prowell, junior, has seen problems occur from the old rules.
“I feel like changing they/them so that they can be used in a singular sense is a really great milestone for people to have,” Kayla said. “I know that some of my friends say that they won’t refer to people with they/ them pronouns because it’s not grammatically correct. And while I can understand why it would be hard for you to call people they/ them because it’s not actually grammatically correct, now it is. Now you don’t have an excuse. Now you actually have to respect people.”
At the GSA’s first meeting led by Kayla, members introduced themselves with their name and preferred pronouns, an activity that was important to Kayla to create an understanding respectful environment.
“I feel like GSA is a safe place for people and some people don’t get referred to by the pronouns they want to get referred to (as) at home and stuff like that,” Kayla said. “So I feel like at GSA, it’s better if every- one has a general basis that there’s a lot of people that prefer different pronouns that you wouldn’t think.”
Some students in GSA, including Kayla, went to schools that tried to limit their sexuality or have parents who limit their gender expression and will not allow them to cut their hair or wear the clothes that they want. For those students, GSA is possibly the first time they are able to open up and be accepted.
“I came from a place where it wasn’t accepting, you weren’t allowed to be out, you weren’t even allowed to think about being gay,” Kayla said. “It sucked not being able to be yourself, not even knowing what yourself was. So when I came to Munster, I wanted to join GSA so bad just to show people that like, ‘Hey, you’re not alone. I accept you and there are a whole bunch of other people in this club that accept you to’.”
Kayla started at MHS as a freshman from Catholic school, and has worked to create a welcoming environment for new members with similar backgrounds, like August.
“It’s (GSA is) very tight knit,” August said. “Everyone’s really there for each other, and it’s weird because I haven’t really experienced that at a school setting, specifically because I went to a Catholic school before, this is just completely opposite.”
After two years, Kayla has seen GSA grow and change working to increase participation and awareness in the school.
“Definitely my sophomore and freshman year, it was the majority of the people were the grade above me,” Kayla said. “And the majority of them were gay males, that was pretty much it. That was majority of the club, and then all those people graduated and I was hoping so bad that this year it would be different.”
With around 60 members this year, Kayla has achieved her goal of growing the club. The club has grown in diversity with more out transgender members than ever before, and a number of new members who identify with they/them pronouns.
The purpose of they is to be a gender-neutral pronoun, however there are more controversial gender-neutral pronouns that are being called into question by people who do not understand their function. Even Kayla has struggled with understand more gender neutral pronouns
“I feel like it’s a controversial thing,” Kayla said. “I guess for me, I can’t really say whether it’s import- ant or not because I couldn’t relate in anyway. I couldn’t even relate
to feeling like different pronouns, like different gender. I have never been confused with my gender so it’s hard for me to understand how someone could identify with a gender that’s I don’t even know what it is.”
This is not an uncommon thought. Associated Press, the primary style guide Crier uses, suggest, that reporters “Use the pronoun preferred by the individuals who have
acquired the physical characteristics of the opposite sex or present themselves in a way that does not correspond with their sex at birth.
If that preference is not expressed, use the pronoun consistent with the way the individuals live publicly.”
As a transgender male himself, August has a more understand view on gender-neutral pronouns.
“I think they (different pronouns) are just as valid and I don’t think there is any reason why they wouldn’t be,” August said. “I don’t think there is any reason that they don’t deserve as much respect as somebody that goes by he or she.”
In the end, August sees using people’s preferred pronouns as a fundamental part of respecting people.
“I think it’s partially an issue about respect because if your not willing to give someone such a basic privilege, or not even a privilege, such a base level amount of respect, then I don’t know how you could give them anything more than that. I don’t know how you could respect someone as a person if you’re not willing to do something so simple.”